Whether you're hosting, attending or having a shower thrown in your honor it's always good to be armed with the know how when it comes to etiquette! Keep in mind the "proper" thing to do may vary from region to region, but all in all these are great tips no matter where you're located :o)
For the Host
1} Remember, the word "host" means you will put forth effort and money towards this event. If you don't have the time or the cash, don't offer to host or politely decline if you're asked to pitch in. There is nothing more frustrating than throwing a shower with other "hosts" who don't pull their weight.
2} Choose a location that is meaningful to the guest of honor - throwing a bridal shower for a meat-free vegetarian? Be sure to choose a place that caters to her needs. It's also nice to remember that not everyone has the same tastes so be sure your meal choices reflect that.
3} On the same note, book a central location - it may be more convenient for you to host the fête near or in your own home, but if it's more than a half hour away for more than half the guests you should think about having it somewhere else.
4} Be sure to include the bridal or baby registry information on or in the invitation - the guest of honor took the time to register and if guests don't know where she's registered she's bound to have to deal with the stress of returning unwanted items. Also, while I'm on the subject - never, ever include registry information with the wedding invitation.
5} Allow guests to reply in a variety of ways, some guests don't email the same way some guests prefer to not talk on the phone. You'll receive more replies this way. Also, be sure to set the reply by date earlier enough to allow for time to collect those rogue responders.
For the Guest
1} When you receive a shower invitation in the mail (or any invitation for that matter), don't place it aside thinking you'll reply later - you're bound to forget it, causing the host or the honoree herself to track your response down. Take five minutes to look at your calendar and send your reply off right away - if your plans unexpectedly change, always make the host aware as soon as possible.
2} The most thoughtful gift is a gift bought off the guest of honor's registry - after all you know they want it. The only exception is if you know her on a very personal level - this doesn't simply mean you're related to her, it means you speak with her on a regular basis as a friend and truly know and understand her interests.
Buying off a registry doesn't mean your gift has to be impersonal. Buy something you own and enjoy off her registry, let her know you couldn't live without it when you write your card. Or buy something useful and purchase something unique to compliment it - think your favorite cookie recipe with baking sheets or a fancy bib to go with those every day bottles.
3} When choosing your attire for the event, look back at the invitation - it's the first glance into what you can expect at the party. If in doubt, dress up. I don't mean pearls, heels and a faux fur stole, but slacks or a simple dress will never disappoint. Being the underdressed person is very much less desirable than being the slightly overdressed, well put together one :o)
4} Always be sure show up on time - the event isn't for you, so don't make it wait for you to begin. Showing up at least 10 minutes before the start time is kind - be sure not to show up too early though unless you plan to pitch in on the last minute details. Arriving early and standing around twiddling your thumbs is incredibly impolite.
Keep this in mind when attending weddings as well, you don't want to be the guest showing up as the bridesmaids are walking down the aisle!
5} Play along! A lot of people feel shower games are less than desirable, but don't be a poor sport by complaining or refusing to participate - join in and pretend you're enjoying yourself, the host and honoree will definitely appreciate you for it!
6} I have to add an extra one here just because I know it's a huge pet peeve for many people. . . show respect to those hosting the event, as well as other guests who would like to pay attention to the bride or momma to be, and be quiet!! It's very frustrating as a host to try and organize an event if no one can hear her and likewise for a guest of honor who's trying to show her appreciate to guests as she opens gifts.
For the Guest of Honor
1} Register early and with plenty of gifts in different price ranges to accommodate your friends still paying off school loans with a minimum wage job, as well as your aunts who want to go in on a more expensive gift together.
2} When opening gifts realize people want to see what you're getting - it's polite to turn gifts around to show them off to everyone. The gift giver will appreciate it even more when people ooh and ahh about their present :o)
3} Along the same lines, be sure to make eye contact and say thank you to the gift giver - it really proves how grateful you are and that you're acknowledging their presence.
4} It's common practice to buy gifts for your hostesses - it can be something simple like a gift card to a local restaurant or something more personal like a monogrammed candle. A host puts a lot of time, effort and money into throwing a shower and showing your gratitude with a small gift is the least you can do. Don't forget to acknowledge their hard work in your thank you as well!
5} Last but not lease, be sure to write thank you notes promptly - any gifts you receive ahead of time from guests who can't make it should have thank you's written prior to the shower and guests present at the shower should receive them within a month, or two at the latest. Recognize the guest for taking the time to come to the shower as well, they'll really appreciate the effort.
Any questions or tips I missed? Feel free to email me {amanda@bacidesigner.com}.
{Photo source - one of my favorite showers ever!!}
This is the best! Thanks Amanda for sharing!
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